


Let's Talk About Haunted_Moonlight's "Devil's Deal"

by zeeyaa



Category: Youtube RPF
Genre: Gen, This is just what I thought of the story and chapters, as well as the arcs and other things I found interesting and enjoyable to read about, it's more of a "I just want to talk about it" than a review/analysis, uh yeah haha just my personal thoughts you know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-06-22 13:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15583461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeeyaa/pseuds/zeeyaa
Summary: I consider this the best story I've seen on Ao3. It's everything I've wanted in a fic. Since I wasn't there at the beginning to read them, I'm gonna spill every thought I had about the chapters here.SO!SPOILER WARNING! If you haven't read the fic, I /highly/ recommend you do that before reading this.5% analysis, 5% review, 90% me gushing about the most simplest of things.





	1. The Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Haunted_Moonlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haunted_Moonlight/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Devil's Deal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9214760) by [Haunted_Moonlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haunted_Moonlight/pseuds/Haunted_Moonlight). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Haunted_Moonlight: Thank you for sticking through with this story. Its potential was clear from Chapter One, and I can't imagine how much of a loss it'd be if there was never a Chapter Two. This isn't just a fun story that you can make up on a whim. It must've taken hours of brainstorming, reevaluating, writing, rewriting, and editing. And the story isn't as baseline as it is. There's hidden themes and many things to pick through, like quotes and character arcs. So what I'm getting at is this: you're a damn good writer.

Let's start slow.

Good stories introduce the characters immediately and set the scene, but great stories do more than that. They introduce the stakes and start to create drama, even if it's not the big picture plot. With Devil's Deal, you automatically know from three paragraphs in that whatever this "American" and "green-haired man" are talking about, it's serious, even life threatening. They talk to each other in hushed tones which tells the reader that they are afraid, probably doing so because they don't want to make any noise. This leads you to believe they're being hunted by something, so it creates thick tension.

We also know that there were others in the setting, and it wasn't just the two of them. They mention a Felix and Ken (PewDiePie and CinnamonToastKen from YouTube), and from the way they reference those two is not reassuring to anybody. They're hinted towards being dead because an "it" found them—further escalating the stakes and confirming the reader's suspicions about being hunted.

It's also interesting to see that Haunted_Moonlight doesn't say who the American and the green-haired man are. The perspective is set as the omnipotent third person, but even in that perspective we do not fully get a name. It's not until the American calls his friend Jack that we are aware of his name, and when Jack refers to the American as Mark, we finally know who they are (Markiplier and Jacksepticeye—if the clues weren't enough to begin with). From there on, they are referred to as such, with less of the "green-haired" detail. It's like putting a name to a face.

After it's mentioned that Felix and Ken are dead, I really like how we get to see a real, relatable reaction from them. It's not just "Oh gee, they're dead! Back to the thing at hand, though!" We actually spend a few paragraphs hearing how the characters take the news, which helps us understand the characters a little more and how they respond to situations. Mark tries to keep his emotions bottled up for the sake of their survival, and maybe to be the calm voice of the duo. Jack, on the other hand, exhibits extreme emotional stress at this and opts to punch the table—so really, we know that Mark is the stable one of the group that is able to pull himself together, and Jack is the one who can't keep his emotions bottled. (Which, I see now, is so polar opposite to what he becomes in later chapters, wink.)

More dialogue tells us that there was entire group of people—eight, to be exact—in the mansion with them, but now it's just Mark and Jack, heavily implying that everyone else has died, probably in a horrible fashion. 

They also have this book with them that supposedly helps them with getting out. The reader is left wondering why you would need a book to help you with puzzles and traps, but we can guess that any other means of escape has been tried and doing the puzzles are the only way out—just like a game. This kind of ties in with how the game Ao Oni is and how the theme of "it's just a game" plays (pun intended) later in the story. Ah, and don't forget Chekhov's Gun—if you introduce something into the story, it's most likely important later on. The author describes the book in detail, setting the tone that something isn't right with this book, and that is it most certainly not a one time thing.

Especially this quote: "Like some of the more journal-oriented handwritten pages, they seemed to be rambling on about time and clock-turning and memory. Inside the back cover there was an intricately-inscribed clock with little moveable handles, like one might find on a game spinner. Oddly stained with blood, but they’d tried to ignore that." Haunted_Moonlight is very sneaky—I didn't even think about this too closely when I first read it, as I was too focused on the bigger problem (and I'm assuming most readers were, too). Moonlight manages to sneak in a very crucial plot detail here on the first chapter of this story—the book that can turn back time. 

Back to the stakes of the first chapter. Clearly, Jack and Mark are trying to escape the mansion. However, every goal has obstacles. Mark has an injured foot so he can't run as fast, and they just need to sprint down the hall to get to the front door.

It's also worth mentioning that I struggle with understanding a scene's environment. You can give me basic details and I'd still be unable to paint a picture, and this story isn't different than the rest. I don't blame the writing for my lack of imagination. The only thing I care about when reading a setting description is to see how well the author can integrate it into the story without it feeling weird, like it was just stuck in there with no other place to put it. It makes total sense to have Mark study the area for a few reasons. First of all, they're being hunted by a monster, and that would give enough reason to look out for wherever it might be, which means surveying the area. Second, they're about to leave this place for good. They've spent quite a bit of time in the mansion (not that the reader knows), and this feels like Mark is reflecting on the night, about what went wrong and how they just wanted to film their livestream, not die. And finally, since they're leaving, Mark doesn't want to just bolt out without giving it one last glance. It's difficult to explain this but I thought it was like Mark saying his goodbye to the mansion, albeit I imagine his goodbye isn't warmhearted at all, more like a "FUCK YOU WE'RE SPLITTING".

Anyway, another thing I want to mention is that Mark tells Jack that they can't stop for anything. I'd say that's another foreshadowing, along with Jack saying this feels like a horror game (it is, and so much more than that). My favorite foreshadowing hint is, "There's going to be a...[I cut out unimportant bits]...and [a] desire to hit the restart button." Oof, that shit hurts now, especially coming from fucking Jack.

Haunted_Moonlight sets the tension to an all time high when Mark talks to Jack as if he _really is_ going to die, as if he's expecting it. Even Jack thought that "Mark's words sounded so...final." It's like an invisible cue to the readers: Don't get your hopes up, and don't even think about getting attached to Mark.

It's not until they get to the front door and turn the key that they finally, _finally_ meet the monster that's been hunting them. From the way Moonlight describes it, it sounds like an abomination, an amalgamation. "Alien-esque"... as if it wasn't supposed to be something of this world.

You know how I mentioned that I can't imagine a setting too well? I think the scene that comes next is one of the few things I can picture. Probably because of the other sense Moonlight uses, other than just what Jack sees. Moonlight uses smell ("breathing fresh air") and feeling ("blood turned to ice"; "heavy raindrops pounding down upon his skin like cold bullets") to further immerse the reader into the scene, and it's breathtaking. I'm no analytical, professional reviewer, but I think it's so great because they've spent enough time in the mansion for it to feel like eternity, and they described the mansion as a dusty, old place, like it was cut off from the world. Having Jack step out of the mansion and have it rain is like the final key into convincing the reader that this is salvation. He's breathing fresh air, something he couldn't get anywhere inside the mansion, probably stanched with blood and sweat. They've been running around the mansion the entire night, so the rain is a total shock, like a shower he never had the privilege of getting. 

And then, of course, I can't _not_ mention Mark's sacrifice for Jack's freedom. It's a good way to show just exactly who Mark is. Just from this, we know that he truly cares for his friends, even more than _himself_ , enough to risk his happiness, freedom, and _life_ so someone else can experience it in his place. He's a selfless man with a big heart, a side his viewers don't think about too often when they call him egotistical.

And Jack's character, while it wasn't really "written" in this chapter, was partially revealed. I don't like to talk too in depth about later chapters in one that doesn't include them, but Jack once mentioned to Mark that when they met this monster, Jack froze on the spot. He would've died if Mark didn't push him outside. So knowing this and coming back to this chapter really clues you into his character. He's emotional, and while he's the faster one on his feet, it's counterbalanced by his inability to make quick decisions, something that drastically changes in Chapter 3+.

I knew this was a survival horror from the start—it was in the tags and everything—but I've never read a story this dark. Everything else written on Ao3 is mostly light gore and easy on the graphicness, but Moonlight doesn't pull any of their punches. They describe the way the monster's large fingers burst through Mark's chest, and that single sentence is enough to make me feel sick. The buildup leading to this is one of the many reasons it succeeded in being a horror story, but Moonlight doesn't even hesitate to add more punch. Mark gets dragged back into the mansion, and while we never truly know what it was like for him to die, we can imagine it through Jack's perspective, where all he can hear over the sounds of the rain is grunts and Mark's screams.

It's also kind of unnerving because it's a little too relatable, too easy to put your shoes into, never mind the fact that these are real people we've spent time getting to know through YouTube (but purely fiction). I'm sure a lot of people have seen their friends being scared. But this is another level. Jack is literally unable to do anything as his good friend is being _mutilated_ , and the only thing standing between them is a door. Moonlight seals the nail on my coffin of tears when Jack notices the dark blood seeping underneath the doorstep—which means that Mark died not too far from Jack, maybe even three feet from the door.

Ah, and I can't stress how well the last few paragraphs are. When the blood stains Jack's shoes, it's kind of disturbing. You'd never want blood to pool around your sneakers, but a friend's? In large amounts? The thought is terrifying and gruesome. It's also a way of telling us readers that this is the real deal. If you think about it, hallucinations never really interact with the person hallucinating them—as in, doing real damage. It'll look real, but it won't truly _feel_ real. It's like looking in a glass mirror up close, you know? But having Mark's blood interact with Jack's sneakers is like having two worlds collide: one from inside the mansion, one from outside. It's a way of saying, "This is no joke, no bad dream. It's real life, and irreversible."

Overall, it's more than a great way to start a story—the stakes were not only introduced, but ramped up to eleven. Mark and Jack's characters were briefly touched on in a way that made us relate to them and root for their safety, and that would ultimately crush us when the ending hits. Too many stories focus on happy endings, and this is a perfect way to write a survival horror. You show your audience that you're not afraid to kill characters, that you won't be pulling any punches, and that you really shouldn't be expecting a happy ending. With many stories, that's a given. This is Moonlight's direct message to their readers: nobody is safe.

Except...well, it's chapter one. Jack has made it out of the mansion, alive, despite everyone else dying. You really can't write a story from there. It's almost impossible to continue, unless that wasn't the focus of the story. But it was, and it convinces that readers that maybe, just maybe, there is a slimmer of hope for our cast of characters, that maybe this _was_ a sick dream, and it leaves a single thought inside their minds when they click Next Chapter.

Was it even real?

And I'll give you the answer now. It was. And that's why it's such a successful start to a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of publication, there are 58 chapters. I'm going to write about every single one of them.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE I'm here to talk about things I like and mention lines that everyone should definitely see after reading the book lmao

How do you recover from a heart wrenching prologue where almost every main character dies? (I don't know.)

After learning that literally everyone around Jack died in the mansion, I was pretty shocked to see the first few paragraph involving characters that were said to be dead. Of course, I knew that the story _had_ to include them in some way, but Jesus, my mind was warbled. The only explanation I had for this chapter was, _Oh, I get it. This is the before chapter, to show how it all went down._

But then it had me thinking: If it's a "12 hours before" chapter, would it end just how the prologue was written?

Turns out, it's much more complicated than that. I'll get more into that when I get to the chapter where it's talked about.

Having the story go from dark and depressing to casual and relaxed is a bizarre experience to read about. It makes the reader nervous for what's to come. But since we know it's not coming yet, we have to live in the moment alongside the characters and enjoy the calmness while it lasts.

I really liked the interactions between the characters. Car rides are almost like the road trip trope, where it gives characters a chance to bond with others and establish more about themselves. In the car, we have Felix driving, Mark in the shotgun, and Ethan, Jack, and Tyler in the backseats. It makes sense for Ethan, Tyler, and Mark to be together, because they represent the main part of Teamiplier and they work with each other a lot. It also makes sense for Felix and Jack to be in there, because they have a pretty good relationship in and out of YouTube. What's really great is that even though there are already established relationships outside of the fanfic, it doesn't stop everyone from interacting with each other. Ethan and Felix actually share a brief conversation (because I don't think Ethan and Felix have personally talked/met? I could be wrong, please correct me.)

I also like the different seating arrangements. You'd expect Teamiplier to be in the backseat together, but Mark takes shotgun and Jack replaces him in the back. It'd make total sense to have Felix and Jack in the front, Teamiplier in the back. But this isn't what Moonlight wrote, and it's a subtle, fresh change of writing.

Also, a little bit of exposition goes a long way, and Moonlight opts for dialogue to set the scene. They're on their way to the mansion to set up. From the way they talk about it, we have a vague clue about who will be making it (Team Edge, which I was pleasantly surprised to see in the fanfic) and who we definitely won't see for most of the story (such as Marzia, PJ, Emma...) 

It's important to note that while they talk in the car, one person doesn't jump in until someone asks them about it: Jack. The sole survivor of the prologue, and it feels like he's being sidelined in the car. When Mark asks him if he's okay, he appears to be tired and worn; his smile was described as "faded". Readers who are reading the fic for the first time are probably skipping past this and just saying "ah Jack is off because it's just a bad feeling" but it's a lot more than that—at least to someone who's read the story. Let's just say there's major foreshadowing when Jack says he's "nostalgic" when looking at the place—a big foreshadowing hint because it's not just "nostalgia" he's feeling. Something that caught my eye was this line as well: "I think the last time I was out in any woods was when I visited family on holiday.” Jack loses his memories because of prolonged use of the book, so when he says "I think" it's like a big slap in the face. He _really_ is uncertain about it—the only times he gets to be out of the mansion is when he does a full reset and winds up back in the car—so when he says "think" it's him trying to remember a memory.

And then, when talking about the mansion, Jack awkwardly admits that he didn't do a lot of reading on this place. The way he says it is excusable, but it's coated in a regretful, guilty tone. Jack regrets not double checking the place, because he believes it's all his fault that all his friends died.

Felix goes on to explain the "lore" behind the house, basically what was said in the links. There's an owner who went crazy and did experiments, and something about monsters, which shines light on what Jack and Mark encountered in the prologue. He describes it as a horror game rip off, which is a cheeky remark at the actual game this fanfic is based off—Ao Oni and Heta Oni (the "rip off" version with the countries).

I'll save some space and boring talk and skip to the notable moments—this is where this turns into a gush rather than an analysis.

Basically, I like the subtle hints towards Jack. This entire chapter is him acting off and hesitant, even nervous. He stares at the mansion from afar because he's afraid to go back inside—he doesn't want to keep repeating the loops, but he doesn't want to let his friends go in there alone and die. The best word to describe this is probably _conflicted_. Even people reading the story for the first time can pick up these subtle hints, and while they may not know exactly _why_ Jack's acting weird, they do know that there's something at play, further keeping the story intense.

That's the funny thing about this story, too. A lot of horrors are great reads because they manage to keep tension and the fire in even the most expository, setting-up scenes.

(Also, I still want to know who exactly rented Felix and the gang the house. Like, how did they come into possession of an angry magician's mansion? How do you do something like that? I thought the "owner" who sold it was going to come into play at a later date, but I suppose he didn't. Perhaps the last chapter will reference him? Mere speculation, but yeah.)

While everyone looks around the mansion, Jack kind of strays from the group and Mark notes that he looks a little lost—but really he's scouting, thinking about who and what will happen when the monsters come. Cool detail.

~~Another _really fun_ detail is when they start to set up in the livestream room. There's one sentence that talks about Jack: "Jack meanwhile grabbed the livestream itinerary and a pen, taking it over to the counter to skim it over somewhat absently..." Like Chekhov's gun, it explains the notes that the group's find later in the story—this is just setting up for that so it doesn't feel out of place.~~

(Edit: The above paragraph that's crossed out was a mistake on my part. I'd delete it entirely, but that wouldn't make sense for the people who caught the mistake in the comments :P)

I also can't forget to mention how desperately Jack tries to dismiss the noise above. Since he's been through this before, he knows that the noise they hear upstairs is from a monster (and extremely fucking fatal) and tries to pass it off as a rat. Nobody really believes it, either, not even when he tries to dismiss Ethan and Tyler's passive skepticism. 

I don't really understand Mark's confusion when Tyler and Jack share a joke—I'm thinking that Mark kind of suspected that Jack wasn't all there? I'm not sure. But I do like how Jack had to ask Tyler to help him reach the top of the fridge. It goes to show that Jack's looking for keys straight off the bat and this also shows that the key has been hidden up there enough loops for Jack to know. Something I learned from the Oni game (can't remember if it was Ao or Heta) is that a plate will crash in the kitchen, although I'm not sure what the cause was in the games: Tyler's mishap is just a fun Easter egg to Oni fans...not that I am one. And THEN, when the plate does crash, Jack is easily startled by the plate, because who knows? The sound could have been familiar to a painful loop, or it reminded him of monsters knocking down objects. I think he was scared of the sound because he thought a monster showed up too early, which would throw is loop for a spin (seeing as some loops aren't always the same, making it difficult to know what to look out for).

The group's plans are interrupted when they hear the shouts of Felix upstairs; once again, Jack suggests it's harmless, but the group doesn't believe so. Sensing this, Jack probably realized he couldn't have kept dodging the situation forever and starts to get serious. I'm not too keen on details, but I think Jack's book was in the bucket? So that's why he moves next to it when the sounds get louder. He's already preparing to run and save people.

Of course, the last noticeable detail is that Jack is the only one who hears the monster getting closer and has to tell everyone to quiet down so they can hear it. His senses must've sharpened from all the loops in the mansion, which is why he's able to look out for everyone. He'll also be the one to take charge in the next chapter, when the monster attacks.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I draw attention to things I noticed after reading the story. Oof.

So by this chapter, we're all pretty much in for the long run. There's really no ditching the story. You're in too deep to quit.

First off, Jack is understandably the first one to make a move, telling the group to leave (hINT). He distracts the monster by throwing a bucket at it, which makes me wonder: how many times has he been through that one scene? Do you think he grabs the bucket because it usually works in his loops? Because that's bound to get the monster's attention onto Jack, giving him the opportunity to lead it away from everyone else.

This line is subtle, too. "Jack looked around as well, but it only seemed to last a split second before he waved Mark forward to the next corridor up ahead." The _but_ implies that it's oddly weird that Jack can make a life or death decision so quickly. It draws attention to how much practice he's had. And Jack's dialogue with Mark is also extremely suspicious. Mark tells him the way they're running is a dead end, but Jack says he saw a door down the hall. Seeing as they've only had enough time to explore the main room and the kitchen, he really _shouldn't_ have known there was a door, especially if they can't see it as they're literally running towards it. Still, it's easy to dismiss because it's not something too weird, but the big kicker is that Jack and Mark have to make a sharp right and run down _another_ hallway where the actual doors are. Without a shadow of a doubt, there is no way Jack could have seen it.

Jack's even more obvious when he Mark stresses that the doors might be locked. He says: “'They’re not, they won’t be locked. They shouldn’t be, anyway.” Key word: _shouldn't_. Heavily implying that he knows the doors enough to be sure they would open.

Jack leaves Mark in the room they enter—a bathroom with a peculiar toilet. I'm not surprised to see that—most of the story's mansion was taken from Heta/Ao Oni, and the bathroom was (if I remember) a key place to be. Sure enough, Mark finds that the toilet is a miniature vending machine with Japanese writing over it. He also makes a "thought" remark that it reminded him of a toilet review Felix did—the video is real, titled "TESTING JAPANESE TOILETS". Adding onto that, it could also be a nod to Felix's gameplay of Ao Oni. Interesting fact: out of everyone in the house, only Mark and Felix played it, which is what makes this remark so special to me.

Small thing: Mark obtains the lighter—just another item from Ao Oni used to help with the piano puzzle. Mark gets another weapon—a can of hairspray. (If anyone's seen YouTube videos in like 2010+, you've probably come across a video of someone using a can of freshener airspray to make a mini flame-thrower.)

(Moonlight, quick q: who did the military pouch belong to? I thought it'd be Germany because of the green, but...I dunno :P)

And yeah, that basically concludes the chapter. It's not a long one (even Moonlight admits it in the end notes) but it was tense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must be delusional right now because I could have sworn Moonlight updated tags to get rid of the "maybe dark later on" and now it's back. Yeah I'm low-key going crazy, don't mind me.


	4. Chapter 3

New characters are always fun in a story, and before reading this I didn't even know half of the cast. This was actually the first time I've heard of Cry, and I'd say it's thanks to Moonlight's way of writing him in to make him an interesting part of the story. One thing I liked is how Cry's face is never really described in this chapter: as in, there are no defining features, even when he glances at himself in the car's mirror. It's a great way to keep anything appearance-related anonymous, the way Cry does so irl. I also love fanfics where Cry's face is always obscured by his mask, and it usually defines him as a mysterious, unknown character. In this story, he still plays that part—a mysterious person with questionable experiences in the house.

"The silence was unnerving...Even more so considering that said people consisted of at least part of the Revelmode group, none of which had much of a reputation for being quiet." That's honestly a funny line, and I'm glad it was added. Likewise, it makes the chapter feel a lot more spooky, even in the perspective of Cry, who doesn't know what they're going through at the moment.

Having Cry talk to himself as he searches the house is actually a good idea from a writing standpoint (imo). Since he's the only person interacting in the chapter for now, there's not too many opportunities for him to talk to another person, which is how most stories involve dialogue. It also goes to show that YouTube commentary kind of integrates itself into your life outside of YouTube—I remember a video where JSE said he talks to himself as he does stuff around the house, as if he were doing commentary. Adding on, having dialogue to himself is a great way to show bits of his character. After all, dialogue plays a huge factor in learning a character's personality and traits. For Cry, I'd say his tone is a bit neutral, even when he has quips and exclamations, as well as a touch of curiosity. Overall, just a "go with the flow" kind of guy.

Also, to further show that things aren't what they seem, Cry heads to the kitchen where we last saw the rest of the Revelmode crew (Felix/Mark/Ethan/Jack/Tyler) and discovers their plans before they had to flee. He even spots the broken plate on the ground, as well as Jack's to-do list, but I wonder what exactly Jack wrote on the list, word for word. 

Now let's talk about more things that make Jack look hella suspicious.

From Cry's perspective: "To his surprise, it actually opened and he slowly pushed the door in a bit further, although at this point he was wondering what the odds were that someone might be in a locked room that required a key." The odds are slim to none. And then he finds Jack in the library. I'm also not sure which library Cry is in, because there have been small changes to the Ao Oni's library in different versions. Frankly, it doesn't matter what library he's in, but I'm assuming it's Version 1.0?

It's a little odd that when Jack and Cry actually come face to face, Jack doesn't mention the mask—either because he's too afraid, or because he automatically knows it's Cry. But if you saw your friend with a mask, would you assume it's them unless you knew for sure? Jack _knows_ it's Cry because he's seen him one too many times to mistake him as anything else. My explanation sounds a little silly, but eheh.

Cry makes a quick mention of the book in Jack's hands, the first time we actually see it in this loop (not the prologue). So between the time they skirmished with the monster in Chapter 2 and now, Jack somehow grabbed the book. (Haunted_Moonlight and I had a small thread in my last chapter about where Jack found the book and kind of agreed that it was in the bucket he had.)

And their conversation is odd—mostly because of Jack. His expression doesn't match his words, and his reactions aren't that of someone who is fearing for their life, which kind of throws Cry for a loop. Small hints for what's to come.

I'm glad Moonlight knew to add in Jack's condition where he can't sweat (and because of that, overheats and gets a rash). It not only adds to continuity of their actual selves, but it's great to show that he does have a major disadvantage in the house, because he needs to be quick, therefore always in a run, when he's traveling around. 

“I’m not leaving the others here." It's such a simple sentence that doesn't even sound suspicious in Cry's view, but it means a lot when you think about the loops. He's had 119 loops to try everything he can think of, and not a single one has lead him to leave the house alone. He simply _refuses_ to abandon everyone inside, and I guess it's because he knows he has the power to help them himself, which is like a weight to him. Because if you have the power right at your fingertips, wouldn't you stay? This is just another way that Anti has him under his control.

Another noticeable detail: After the group flees from the kitchen, they all go their separate ways. Jack couldn't have known Mark was in the bathroom, yet that is exactly where Mark ends up in his own perspective. Very suspicious. Also, I just realized that some of what I'm saying has probably been used in Chapter 19/20.

Did you know that scratching your neck usually means you're lying/hiding something? For example, Cry asks Jack is he's feeling okay. Jack answers back, "'You know: worn out, hot, itchy…' He winced a bit, subconsciously scratching the side of his neck..." Jack's hiding more than what he said. Cry just doesn't know it, and because of his unsureness of Jack, the Irishman is able to pass it off as not being as energetic as he is on YouTube. Makes me wonder how many times Cry's asked this of Jack, and how many times it took Jack to convince him through the loops.

The chapter ends with Cry and Jack going to meet up with Mark in the bathroom, only to discover that the door is open and Mark is nowhere to be found. Cry also discovers the vending machine toilet. (I only wrote this paragraph because I wasn't sure how to end this chapter. I never am.)


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 goes back to Mark's point of view, and we learn that _of course, Mark has run off on his own to find everyone else._ I guess you could add that to his character of always looking out for everyone else at the expense of his life.

I don't know if the fourth paragraph is a little mix up, a foreshadowing, or just Mark's assumption, but he mentions that it's hard to have hope when they're in a fancy cage with _monsters_. Plural form. So far, they've only encountered one, so he couldn't have known that there were more, right? Unless he knew there was bound to be more, based off of what they knew about the house—though that was all speculation and, essentially, a creepypasta.

Another thing I thought about when reading the story the first time is "Why didn't they look for windows?" But of course, every haunted, creepy mansion either a) is built without windows, or b) has windows but they're somehow shut and unable to escape through. In their case, the windows have been barred off (the view of the mansion of the Ao Oni game has three floors of windows, but only the first floor ones appear to be barred). I think it's also weird that Mark said he'd have to look for windows later because I'm sure they'd have seen _something_ that resembled windows while they were outside? However, that's really not important, because it's heavily implied that they're not going to be escaping the easy way.

Onto the next section! "Peering at the lock, he could definitely see that it required a key, and really, it almost seemed as if someone had put this door on backwards with the intention of locking people in." This is when Mark tries the front door again (located in the entrance hall). The one that Mark and Jack were at in the first loop where everyone had died just to get the key. Having Mark standing right at his first death spot is a little chilling because he doesn't even know he's been in that situation, where he's so close to freedom but he can't leave. It's crushing.

Mark then goes onto exploring the upstairs bit of the mansion in search of his other friends, because he knows Ethan and Tyler ran to the second floor. One thing I didn't understand in the story was how it was described, and I don't hold it against Haunted at all. The overall outline of the room is described as resembling an "I", but the fonts on Ao3 don't do it justice. What Haunted means isn't the single line "I"—they mean the "I" font with two horizontal lines on the top and bottom. Another thing I had to look up was what an armoire was—apparently it's just a fancier term for wardrobe.

Anyway, Mark tries all the doors with no luck, until he gets to the last one. Thankfully, he finds Tyler in there, who was hiding under the bed, and Ethan, hiding in the armoire. Fun fact: In the Ao Oni game, the armoire Ethan hid in is where you find your first friend, Takeshi. However, there was no other person in the room with them, so Tyler's hiding spot under the bed was improvised by Haunted_Moonlight. Takeshi's character actually isn't much of a help to the player—his only line of dialogue is "*shivering*" because he's too shellshocked to move. So since Ethan's being written as Takeshi in the story so far, he's taken on the characteristic as well. As noted by Mark, he said that Ethan didn't seem in a hurry to get out out of the armoire.

Now that the trio's all together, they start trying to piece things together. Mark briefly feels guilty over this being his fault—after all, he was the one who invited Tyler & Ethan. I'd say this is the start of his reoccurring guilt.

Another missable detail is the thunder that draws their attention away. They don't think anything of it, but it signals the start of the big storm that plays into the story later on—the one that Stephanie and MatPat get caught up in and are forced to take shelter in the mansion. It just goes to show that all of that has been set up from the get go!

(A detail I also want to mention is that yes, at this point in the story, Tyler, Mark, and Ethan know that the windows are all barred.)

I can't forget the clock confusion, either. (I won't lie, I _hate_ keeping track of times in stories, so, uh, I probably won't here.) All you need to know is that Mark briefly touches on the fact that his clock isn't in the right time because of all the loop magic in the house.

After the brief talk, Tyler and Ethan stick it out in the room upstairs, and Mark investigates downstairs, looking for Jack and his friends. He ends up noticing the open door that leads to the library—the one that Cry found Jack in from the previous chapter. So Jack and Cry have already left the library and definitely noticed Mark wasn't in the bathroom anymore—which could only mean that they've gone searching for him as well.

Smaller thing: I like the Super Hot IRL reference. It was actually the first video I watched on their channel and was the gateway into subscribing to them. Thanks Moonlight.

Back to the important thing! So Mark finds Felix's camcorder. The way it's shown that it's Felix's is a lot better than writing out "Mark recognized this as Felix's". Instead of that, Moonlight gives Mark a small dialogue as he picks it up, saying Felix's name like he's associating it with him (arguably a lot better than the former alternative they could've used). I just think it helps keep the story a little fresher with how it delivers its sentences, so good job.

I also wrote this part when Moonlight was discussing stuff in the Antiseptic Afterparty Discord (link in end notes) but they said, "With my writing style, I kinda struggle a bit with mentioning people's names outright unless someone else brings it up in the dialogue." They've done it with Mark and Jack in the prologue, and Cry with his first entrance. Although Felix had already been introduced, it's been kind of a while since we last saw him, so it's like reinstating that yes, the dude is still in the story and he is alive.

Ah, this probably doesn't even mean much, but Mark briefly worries, "But what if the worst-case scenario had gone down and it was all on tape?" If Moonlight really is a meanie when it comes to crushing us without us knowing it, this is a small foreshadowing towards some of Jack's conflicts, adding onto the mob hysteria thing: Matthias sees his family die on tape and blames Jack for it.

I really love the small clip of Felix talking to the camera, though. If you didn't know that he was about to enter a shitshow, you'd think "wow! this fanfic is spot on with his personality and it's so lightheartedly funny!"

Sike, fool. As a first reader, you have _no_ idea what happens to Felix. It's never clarified in this chapter whether he survived it or died right off the bat, and that was honestly such a terrifying thought to have going through this.

And to end off the chapter, we have the first peek of Antisepticeye. Well, it's just of his sneakers and his voice, but damn. I know it's kind of obvious it's Anti (from the tags and the 'mark thought his voice was familiar' thing) but it's a little terrifying because Anti doesn't exist in their world. It really makes you question whether Jack is actually the mastermind who orchestrated all of this (the suspicious behavior and the hints at Chapter One) or if it's an entirely new entity.

Anyway, that's all I've got to say for this one. Thanks for reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this chapter was going to be small but I forgot how long chapters got in DD! Wow! (still no excuse for not posting since september, oh...)
> 
> The epilogue of DD has been posted today, which means I have so much to write before Haunted_Moonlight strikes me over the head with an epilogue, killing me instantly. XD


	6. Chapter 5

The second Mark picked up that paper in the fireplace, I dreaded its words. They were kind of haunting when I first read them, and that line where it said "No stopping him" only added to my curiosity to know who "him" was. At that point, I always thought Jack was seriously the murderer who set all of this up, and it was gonna be a Villain!Jack story. And then my heart skipped a beat when it was revealed that it was Mark's handwriting, because that doesn't make sense at all.

I think it was around this time where I started to consider more possibilities. I knew the story was based off of Heta/Ao Oni, but I wasn't interested in reading the lore because I wanted to keep myself spoiler free. And I'm guessing a lot of you readers who read it the first time felt the same way. That was a good idea, wasn't it?

Also, Felix's part of the story. He definitely became the part of Takeshi in these first few parts. Takeshi (Ao Oni) was a big boi with a big mouth, which you can kind of relate to with Felix himself, because he's the biggest channel on YouTube, therefore a Big League guy. Still, that's surface level stuff, and Takeshi is kind of the easily startled type once the shit hits the fan, just like Felix in this situation. He doesn't want to come out of the closet (literally) because he's scared of encountering the monster. However, character growth!!!

The part where Felix was hiding under the bed actually creeped me out the first time reading it. I'm not claustrophobic, but I can't imagine how terrifying it'd be like to be stuck in a spot that isn't easy to maneuver out of, especially in a situation such as life or death. And while I'm not into horror movies (or any horror!), that means I don't know horror tropes enough to be tired of them...so that hide-under-the-bed is a big no-no. Plus, when we also discover that the monster checks hiding spots with Felix, it adds to the stakes, because while we know this story follows basic video game mechanics, not many mechanics involve the monsters having a really good AI that are smart enough to predict where "players" could be hiding. I'm getting chills.

(Oh, but I do remember watching an Ao Oni playthrough where the monster's face appears in the armoire, and that really gave me nightmares for a week.)

It was a fresh relief to see Felix meet up with a familiar face after escaping death and a long fall, though I didn't understand what exactly had happened the first time. I didn't know he fell, just that he was in pain? I don't know, maybe I can't read it right, but I think it could have been described better.

That's about all the thoughts I had for this chapter. Not much theorizing, save for Jack's obvious suspiciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long ass wait. Turns out writing my thoughts isn't as easy as it sounded in my...well, thoughts.
> 
> I also can't guarantee this is gonna get updates frequently. Though I intend on finishing all the chapters of the first Devil's Deal story, it'll be a while before then.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos received in the in-between!


End file.
